may the future be brighter than the past

This is that time of year when every blogger is writing about this past year and their resolutions for the next. I decided instead to tell you of the New Year’s Resolution I have made for the WHOLE HUMAN RACE. I know, who am I to tell others what to do? I guess I should call this my “New Year’s Wish”. 

You see, I have gone through a lot this year that has only opened my eyes more to a matter that makes me fearful for our human existence. I feel like my favorite Disney princess who so wisely exclaims, "Look around you. This is where the path of hatred has brought us." My wish is only one word but like I said, this is a concept that mankind has struggled with since its existence but hey, we got some pretty awesome people living on this planet nowadays so why not now? Why not this year? 

The word is UNDERSTANDING. Do you understand what it means to really understand something? It means so much more than to just hear. It goes deeper than that. Compassion, respect, acknowledgement are all at the heart of understanding. In anthropology, we are encouraged to not just be flies on the wall but rather, to do what they do; live like they live.  This, we are taught, is the best way to truly understand. To borrow a cliche, we are encouraged to "walk a mile in their shoes".  

In order to be prepared to "walk a mile" and to be effective in it, our ears must be open.  Our minds must be open.  Our hearts must be open.  Often, because of my hearing loss, people ask me “did you catch that?” or “did you hear that?”  I always reply: “Well, I can HEAR but I can’t understand” meaning I can hear sounds and know someone is talking but my mind often fails to grasp what exactly they are saying.  I think too often in our lives, we hear without understanding.  We see without comprehending.  We feel without feeling.

In the Genocide Memorial in Rwanda lies a quote by Felicien Ntagengwa.  I’m not sure if she was a victim but her words pierced me. 

“If you knew me and really knew yourself, you would not have killed me”

A deep acknowledge of where misunderstanding comes from-- not knowing the other person, and really, not knowing ourselves (I encourage you to think about this one for a moment). A poignant thought and a solemn reminder of where misunderstanding ultimately leads. It does not have to be psychical death-- it could be the casting out of a family member; the bullying of a classmate or neighbor; the abandonment of a friend; and sadly yes, sometimes even violence. 

Cain and Abel.The Holocaust. Rwanda. The Herero. The Balkans. Cambodia. Armenia. Palestine and Israel.  Feminists and non-Feminists. Conservatives and Liberals. Shiites and Sunni. History is full of people, families, regions of the world torn apart because of misunderstanding. Ruth Benedict, a famous anthropologist wrote a book, Patterns of Culture, in 1934. Think of the world at this time.  Colonialism was still going strong; Hitler was on the rise in Germany, along with so many other radicals in Europe. She wrote:  

“Modern existence has thrown many civilizations into close contact, and at the moment the overwhelming response to this situation is nationalism and racial snobbery. There has never been a time when civilization stood more in need of individuals who are genuinely culture-conscious, who can see objectively the socially conditioned behavior of other peoples without fear and recrimination. Contempt for the alien is not the only possible solution of our present contact of races and nationalities” (24). 

 I think it would be fair to say that snobbery and contempt are all-too familiar responses to those who are different than us, whether it be a different nationality or culture or sexual preference or religion or political affiliation or diet or hairstyle or recycling habits or….. well, you get the picture. 

Now, before you completely freak out thinking I'm telling you you need to become some hippie- free-loving person or some suit-wearing-money-loving person.... that is not what I'm saying. You do not need to become in order to understand.  You simply have to listen with an open heart and an open mind.  Be willing to RESPECT, to HUMANIZE, to EMPATHIZE with those different from you and maybe, just maybe allow yourself to WALK a mile in their shoes. You might be surprised what you find.

So this year, please, let us be willing to let go of prejudice, stereotypes, preconceived notions and yes, even be willing to admit when you are wrong. The outcome is worth it, I promise. Trust me, I'm an Anthropology Major.