One life. One chance to get it right.

After much thought, I have decided to leave most of my thoughts for another day because this is a journey I want to document right-- giving each chapter it's proper due. So thus I begin with my preface... my introduction... my statement of intent.

I want to be honest. I want people to see. I want people to understand. I want people to love more honestly. I want people to know they are not alone if they are struggling too. I want people to see me for who I really am in this moment- not who I used to be or who they want me to be. I want people to see the profound peace and light that's possible when we answer the call of our soul. I want people to see the struggles of someone shedding the chains of society. I  want people to see just one way to let go and let God work his mighty miracles in someone's life. I want people to see that the soul really can heal the pain, mistakes, weaknesses that we inevitably experience in this mortal existence. i want people to see just how truly infinite we really are-- infinite in our being, in our potential and in our power for good.

With that wish, I give you a list. This list, though not conclusive, are the philosophies/beliefs that are most important to me right now in my life. These are my morals. They are my guiding lights.

1. I believe above all else in love. Pure, unadulterated, liberated love has the power to change ourselves, change our relationships, and change the world. So I have decided to love-- without labels, without restrictions, without ego. You see, "love is not selective, just as the light of the sun is not selective." This means learning to love another person-- irregardless of their station in life, their gender, their religion.

2. My Soul, that spark of Divinity within me, will guide me to the experiences/people/places I need to so the River of Life will smooth the jagged edges of my imperfect Being.  "We... are here for the purpose of gaining all the knowledge and experience which can be obtained through earthly existence, of developing virtues which we lack and of wiping out all that is wrong with us, thus advancing towards the perfection of our natures. The Soul knows what environment and what circumstances will be enable us to do this, and hence He places us in that branch of life most suited for that object." Well said, Dr. Bach, well said.

3. I believe in seeking out the Truth wherever it may be found. I have found Truth already in the Book of Mormon and will continue to search that godly book for more Truth. I have found truth in books written by spiritual guides, former Monks, English doctors. I have found Truth in spending quality time with Mother Earth. I have found Truth when conversing with new friends, old friends, family and strangers.You know Truth when it fills your Being with light, with peace, with the feeling of godliness.

4. Let Go and Let God... Let go of the past. Let go of the future. "Realize deeply that the present moment is all you have." Only then, only by immersing yourself in the present moment can God work his miracles. For that is how Nephi lived his life-- being led by the Spirit not knowing before what he should do. We could all learn from Winnie the Pooh-- "What day is it?" Pooh asked. "It's today," squeaked Piglet. "My favorite day," said Pooh. Let today be your favorite day.


I'm striving to follow my Soul wherever it leads. This path may look crooked to some but I know, as long as I'm facing the Light, I cannot be in the wrong. I look forward to sharing my thoughts, my experiences, my trials, my joys with those who will take time to listen. 

Sometimes your only available transportation is a leap of faith

My ride home from work takes me right along a river. The sun was setting and the river was perfectly still. I was breathing, taking it all in and the words of Jesus came to mind:

"Therefore I say unto you, Take no thought for your life, what ye shall eat, or what ye shall drink; nor yet for your body, what ye shall put on. Is not the life more than meat, and the body than raiment?

Behold the fowls of the air: for they sow not, neither do they reap, nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feedeth them. Are ye not much better than they? Which of you by taking thought can add one cubit unto his stature?

And why take ye thought for raiment? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow; they toil not, neither do they spin"

How can it be that it comes so easy to trust (or one could even say "believe") that the sun will rise each day yet when it comes to trusting in the Master of all creations or the very laws which make the sun rise, we hesitate and stumble? 

"Trust in the Lord with all thine heart and lean not unto thine own understanding"

My own understanding is very limited; that is what's so frustrating about being mere mortals. If you are anything like me, I take comfort in reassurances. Fine, if I'm being totally honest, I need it so bad I"ll take it from random strangers. But that, I am coming to learn, means you do not really trust. I spent 26 years of my life thinking I trusted in God, believed he would take care of me but I don't. Not really. My trust comes in the form of "You're gonna take care of me... right?" or "Yeah, yeah.... I'm going to be okay. Yeah, I got this... yeah, here's a list of 435 reasons why this is a good idea. Yeah... we got this". Shocking the universe doesn't think I really trust it right?

There was a family of ducks crossing the river today. I thought to myself, "I bet the only thing that mother duck is thinking about is the fact that she's in the water, crossing to the other side with her babies. She is not chatting with her girlfriends, seeking confidence that crossing the river is a good idea. She simply knows." She trusts in herself, in nature, in her Creator.  She trusts just as the river she swims in trusts that if it needs to go somewhere, the wind will provide the way.

Oh how I longed to be as trusting as Mother Duck or Brother River in that moment. How I longed to have the peace which "passes all understanding". Such peace that surely only comes when trust is in your heart; from knowing that as surely as the sun will rise, so shall you. Each day.

"Eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, neither have entered into the heart of man, the things which God hath prepared for them that [trust] him."

So how? How do I be like Mother Duck? How do I begin?
Step One--  "Realize deeply that the present moment is all you ever have."
Step Two-- Take a deep breath and leap.
Step Three-- Remember the lilies.