The Fight We MUST Win.

L-O-V-E.  So much feeling is packed into this small four-letter word. In my opinion, it is the most beautiful in any language because it represents the best of humanity.  R-A-P-E.  Equally emotional, this is the most horrific four-letter word in the English language.  It represents all that is evil about the human race. 

The ultimate symbol of love between two people- sex- is turned into a power-show of horrific proportions through rape. Perhaps that is what makes it so uneasy to think about. Perhaps that is why we are so afraid of it. Sex is already stigmatized in many cultures that a violation of the act gets pushed further down the "do-no-talk-about" list.  

In fact, rape is so stigmatized that we do not like to report it; on top of that, the police often hesitate to do anything about what is reported.  To make matters worse, we feel uncomfortable placing blame on the perpetrators when blame ought to be placed.  Take the Steubenville Case. A CNN reporter had us lamenting the football careers of two teenagers who raped an almost unconscious 16-yr old girl.  Really?! "It's sad", they say.  No.  It is not sad that they do not get to play another day of football, they made their choice.  You know what is sad? The fact that those two boys, and the other onlookers who weren't penalized, thought it would be okay to have sex with a girl who never said "yes".  It is worse that they thought it was funny enough to take pictures, videos and blast in across the internet.  That is what is really sad about this story.  This heinous crime has worked its way into the minds and thoughts of teenage boys in Heartland, America-- the once iconic "innocence of America".  It seems as though no matter where you look, rape has left it destructive presence. 

We as a human race, for whatever reason, are slow to change. Honestly, it took us around 100,000 years to decide to plant food instead of chasing it around all year. It took 300 years for the Atlantic Slave Trade to be abolished.  It took a Civil War to free the slaves in America but it wasn't until over 50 years later that those of color truly became "free".

Rape has existed since .... well, forever, I suppose. Every 20 minutes, a woman in India is raped; it is down to less than every 5 minutes in South Africa; even America, that number ranges between every 2 to 6 minutes. It is easy to write it off as "a sad reality of life".  Try using that excuse to the girl repeatedly raped every day because she is held in bondage in a brothel.  Maybe we could use the excuse "well, that's more of a problem in the city with all those hoodlums".  Steubenville proved that one wrong.  Let's use the typical "insert-victim-blaming-insult-like-she-was-wearing-too-tight-of-clothes-or-she-was-flirting-or-she-was-drinking-too-much".  Try telling that to the countless girls who are on a date with a boy who just does not understand the word "NO".  Or tell that to the wife who is raped by her husband because he thinks it's his "right" to have sex whenever he demands.  

I admit that for the longest time, rape seemed like such a far-away thing; the problem of another time, another place.  I feel awful that, like countless other freshman at BYU, I made jokes about the rape whistles given to us. I feel awful that I spent the majority of my life not even giving a second thought to sexual violence; honestly, I'm not even sure when I realized such a thing existed in the world. But, thankfully (at least I see it as thankfully), I realized that rape effects our reality whether we think it does or not.   I would be lying if I said that every once in a while, when I see a man walking down the street towards me at night-- I hold my breath and I feel my heart starting to pick up. I feel my mind saying "please don't let him notice me. please don't let him do anything. please.".  Is this because I have had a "close call"? No.  It is because rape is part of my reality.  And I must tell you, it is a part of yours. Yes, you. The person reading this blog right now.  Rape is part of your reality.... whether you want it to be or not.  

Rape is not something we can, nor should, push aside any more. It finally feels like the cards are starting to unfold, the stars are aligning, all the ducks are coming in a row, whatever cliche you want to insert. The fact is that NOW is the time for us to STAND UP. This is more than a discussion of gender equality; the negative effects of the media; of pornography; of the marginalization of women. This is a discussion about HUMAN RIGHTS.  The most fundamental human right-- the freedom to choose-- is torn away through the act of rape. India, Egypt, and countless other countries are telling the world that they ready to change.  And these brave men and women are proving that our VOICES really are the most powerful weapon of all. But it cannot end there-- we must become more comfortable discussing the issues; education is key. We must hold police officers and judges responsible for upholding the law.  We must lend our voices in support for those men and women in different cities, different countries who are searching for their own solutions to the stigmas and hurdles in their society.  We must win this fight my friends. We must. 

that Catholic tradition I can't get enough of....

I have a confession to make.... I LOVE LENT! Seriously, ever since I started doing it, back in high school, my testimony of it has only grown.  It wasn't until I got to BYU that people said "But Corrine, you aren't Catholic"..... Well, I didn't know I had to be Catholic to find a reason to be closer to God. My bad.

See... that is what I love about Lent. The purpose of it-- to honor Jesus Christ.  In similitude of Christ fasting for 40 days, Catholics started the tradition of giving something up for the 40 days before Easter. Over the years I've given up TV to laziness to chocolate. Man, that last one was a toughie.

Ever since I realized Lent started crazy early this year, I've been thinking about what to do. I wanted to be prepared; really give this the deep thought such a tradition deserves. The idea came to me-- give up "mediocrity".  I pushed it aside because, how do you measure that? I mean, it's a good idea because someone once told me that the problem with my generation is that we are okay with being mediocre.  (I'm sure the same could be said for every generation).  But that idea-- MEDIOCRITY-- kept coming back.

I kept seeing all these inspirational quotes like:

So I did what any human being would do-- fall into a funk because I felt like the universe was telling me I am mediocre.  :)  Seriously though, all these "signs" seemed to be telling me that I'm being mediocre right now and something needs to be done about it.

I'm not mediocre because I make mistakes, just in the same way that what makes me extraordinary is not not making mistakes. I'm mediocre because I'm not living up to my potential. What is my potential? Well, I'm not entirely sure but I know it's big because I am royalty. I'm a daughter of God ....You see, it's GOD who makes me extraordinary. It's his influence, his belief in me, his Holy Spirit that inspires me to achieve great things; and it is his grace and strength that helps me do them.

So.... I AM going to be giving up mediocrity for Lent. And I'm going to do that by giving up for 40 days, those things which are taking my time away from God. (Admitting of course that I'm the weak one who can't help but be distracted by such things). So, what does that mean? That means no movies/TV (with one exception), no Facebook (minus once a week where I can answer messages since its the only way I have to communicate with some very important people in my life), and no internet. Goodbye Buzzfeed, goodbye Pinterest for 40 days. This doesn't necessarily mean I'm going to turn into a monk and only read my scriptures but let's just say I'll have a lot more time on my hands for service, for reading great literature, for mediation, for exercise... all those things which feed my soul and make me feel closer to God.

Lent 2013.... let's do this. 

may the future be brighter than the past

This is that time of year when every blogger is writing about this past year and their resolutions for the next. I decided instead to tell you of the New Year’s Resolution I have made for the WHOLE HUMAN RACE. I know, who am I to tell others what to do? I guess I should call this my “New Year’s Wish”. 

You see, I have gone through a lot this year that has only opened my eyes more to a matter that makes me fearful for our human existence. I feel like my favorite Disney princess who so wisely exclaims, "Look around you. This is where the path of hatred has brought us." My wish is only one word but like I said, this is a concept that mankind has struggled with since its existence but hey, we got some pretty awesome people living on this planet nowadays so why not now? Why not this year? 

The word is UNDERSTANDING. Do you understand what it means to really understand something? It means so much more than to just hear. It goes deeper than that. Compassion, respect, acknowledgement are all at the heart of understanding. In anthropology, we are encouraged to not just be flies on the wall but rather, to do what they do; live like they live.  This, we are taught, is the best way to truly understand. To borrow a cliche, we are encouraged to "walk a mile in their shoes".  

In order to be prepared to "walk a mile" and to be effective in it, our ears must be open.  Our minds must be open.  Our hearts must be open.  Often, because of my hearing loss, people ask me “did you catch that?” or “did you hear that?”  I always reply: “Well, I can HEAR but I can’t understand” meaning I can hear sounds and know someone is talking but my mind often fails to grasp what exactly they are saying.  I think too often in our lives, we hear without understanding.  We see without comprehending.  We feel without feeling.

In the Genocide Memorial in Rwanda lies a quote by Felicien Ntagengwa.  I’m not sure if she was a victim but her words pierced me. 

“If you knew me and really knew yourself, you would not have killed me”

A deep acknowledge of where misunderstanding comes from-- not knowing the other person, and really, not knowing ourselves (I encourage you to think about this one for a moment). A poignant thought and a solemn reminder of where misunderstanding ultimately leads. It does not have to be psychical death-- it could be the casting out of a family member; the bullying of a classmate or neighbor; the abandonment of a friend; and sadly yes, sometimes even violence. 

Cain and Abel.The Holocaust. Rwanda. The Herero. The Balkans. Cambodia. Armenia. Palestine and Israel.  Feminists and non-Feminists. Conservatives and Liberals. Shiites and Sunni. History is full of people, families, regions of the world torn apart because of misunderstanding. Ruth Benedict, a famous anthropologist wrote a book, Patterns of Culture, in 1934. Think of the world at this time.  Colonialism was still going strong; Hitler was on the rise in Germany, along with so many other radicals in Europe. She wrote:  

“Modern existence has thrown many civilizations into close contact, and at the moment the overwhelming response to this situation is nationalism and racial snobbery. There has never been a time when civilization stood more in need of individuals who are genuinely culture-conscious, who can see objectively the socially conditioned behavior of other peoples without fear and recrimination. Contempt for the alien is not the only possible solution of our present contact of races and nationalities” (24). 

 I think it would be fair to say that snobbery and contempt are all-too familiar responses to those who are different than us, whether it be a different nationality or culture or sexual preference or religion or political affiliation or diet or hairstyle or recycling habits or….. well, you get the picture. 

Now, before you completely freak out thinking I'm telling you you need to become some hippie- free-loving person or some suit-wearing-money-loving person.... that is not what I'm saying. You do not need to become in order to understand.  You simply have to listen with an open heart and an open mind.  Be willing to RESPECT, to HUMANIZE, to EMPATHIZE with those different from you and maybe, just maybe allow yourself to WALK a mile in their shoes. You might be surprised what you find.

So this year, please, let us be willing to let go of prejudice, stereotypes, preconceived notions and yes, even be willing to admit when you are wrong. The outcome is worth it, I promise. Trust me, I'm an Anthropology Major. 

FINALLY!

EXTRA! EXTRA! READ ALL ABOUT IT! CORRINE FINALLY GETS A JOB!!

Finally. It feels like an elephant has been on my shoulders the past few months and he's finally gone.  He was getting a little heavy to carry around. Enough about the elephant.... aren't you dying to know what I'm going to be doing? I'll tell you.

I will be a "para-educator" (fancy term for "teacher's aide") at Sharon Elementary School in Orem, UT.  I'll be mostly working with the special ed kids.  It is really cool.  The school believes that those with learning problems-- either due to autism or other issues-- should still be in the regular classroom as much as possible.  Something about being surrounded by what they should be learning helps..... I don't know Education Psychology.  Anyways, so I'll basically be shuffled around different classes throughout the day helping the kids that need help.  I'll be working with 1st through 6th grade. Isn't that cool?

There's only one small problem: I have NO idea what I'm doing... or even what I'm getting myself into.  Elementary kids? Teaching them? WHAT?!?! I'm all for playing "monster" and chasing them around the room but I'm pretty sure the teacher wouldn't be too happy about that....... I mean, hello! I was the babysitter who let the kids watch TV (even when the parentals specifically told me not to let them) and stay up till right before the parentals came home. I'm the one who plays with the kids cause I still think I am one.

Well, it'll be an adventure for sure.  It's interesting because this is not what I thought I would be doing but for some reason I'm really really really excited about it.  Perhaps the excitement is because it is something new, something else for me to learn; perhaps it is due to the simple fact that it is a job and I so badly needed one.... but regardless of the reason, I decided to not OVERANALYZE it, not REJECT it simply because it doesn't fit into my "what would look best on your resume for working in Africa" mindset, and just let it be.

Wish me luck.... or maybe, wish the kids luck? They probably need it more than I do.


ps.  The best way to celebrate is really to have a one-song dance party with the Gma... which is of course what I did.

Attitude of Gratitude

This is probably the LEAST amount of words I've ever written in a blog post.  Somehow it doesn't seem enough-- enough to adequately express the gratitude I feel for every single person in my life.  They say a picture is worth a thousand words though so one picture will have to do-- one picture to tell a story of the countless others who have inspired me, strengthened me, entertained me, pushed me, taught me, and most importantly loved me. For those who have been a part of my life this year, I thank you. 

You remind me that we are more alike than we are different. 

   You make me feel alive.

You encourage me to hope for a better world.  

 You give me someone to look up to.

  You believe in the power of my dreams.

You are still here.

You show me that angels truly do come in human form.         

   You inspire me to be the best I can be. 

You teach me what it means to be a mother.  

                                                       You give me the gift of your friendship.

               

 You walk with me in the rain.