She's going where?!

"I think I want to go back to Utah".  This thought came to me near the beginning of this summer.  I know what you are thinking.... "But Corrine, don't you hate Utah?", or "Corrine, you just spent the last 5 years trying to get out of Utah!", or maybe even "But what about DC or NC like you were talking about earlier?" Trust me, I have asked myself all of those questions and probably more questions you haven't even thought of.

Since I've already gotten asked all of these questions, and I know that with each person who finds out, I will only get asked them again, I decided to tell the world (okay, let's face it, like, three people read this blog but.... let's aim for the world) WHY I decided to pack my bags into my run-down car and head back to Utah.

*(Side note: These reasons are in order of "deep"-ness). 

Reason 1:  I still have friends there! This is probably the least "important" in terms of being a grown-up, by golly, I would miss all my darling peeps. I have been blessed to have friends scattered across the country so friends in Utah, don't go getting a big head or anything.  I think this is more of a huge BONUS for going back then an actual reason but we'll count it.  


Reason 2: Now we are getting a little bit more serious, but not uber "sappy/deep".  I decided to take a year off before graduate school because I wanted to build up my resume.  I wanted to give schools something that says "wow. she's done a lot already!"  Ergo, I wanted a job doing development, or anthropology, or nonprofit.  But, I also needed a job that would pay me money; I have loans to pay off, rent, savings, etc.

I began my job search...  DC grew frustrating because the things I qualified for didn't pay anything (because they were all internships) and I could NOT afford to live in that expensive city making little to now money.  One of the lessons of adulthood is that everything has a time and a place in our lives.  I will have my day in DC, it's just not today.  North Carolina is a GREAT place for finding entry level jobs in the business field but even just looking at the job postings made me want to fall asleep.  No offense my business friends. So then Utah comes along and BAM! The more I looked, the more I found jobs that interested me, that would benefit the community, AND would pay me.  What? Utah seemed to be the place to find the job I was looking for. My dad said to me yesterday, "You gotta go to where the jobs are." So that is what I'm doing.


Reason 3: Are you ready for some depth? I have spent almost seven years of growing, learning, struggling, laughing in Provo. I have spent Thanksgiving, Easter, Christmas, New Year's, birthdays, etc in this place.  I have experienced birth and death.  I have loved, and lost that love. So..... as much as I didn't want to admit it (and sometimes still don't ) Utah has become more of a home than anywhere else.  That should count for something right?



Reason 4: God gave me one task this last year when I returned to Utah.  He said "learn to love Provo... really love it". I won't get all personal  but let's just say I spent all of last year looking at when I got to leave this "blasted" place instead of learning to love.  I ran out of Utah as fast as I could, relieved to see it in my rear-view mirror.  I thought I could leave my regrets there, leave everything behind because finally I was gone.

 Then, as time went on, I realized I failed. I had failed at the one task God gave me and instead of leaving Provo a better person, being grateful for the time I had spent there, I left Provo with a lot of regret.  I soon found myself thinking "man, I wish I could do last year over again".  Seldom in life do we get second chances.  This is my second chance. This is a chance for me to go and learn to love Utah.  Let Utah into my heart and let it change me in a way I have never let it before.


To end this post, let's continue with this theme of change shall we?  I read a quote today (no matter where I read it or who it was by) that said: "Prepare, don't plan".  For a person who has Plan A-Z for the next five years of her life, and for a person who makes a hourly schedule of her day... .this is hard advice to take. So I could just ignore it right? WRONG.  This struck a chord with me. I guess it is time to change my mentality about life once again. Le sigh. 

Preparing for life implies changing, growing, getting ready for.  I looked up "prepare" in the dictionary and it gave a wonderful definition.  In music, to prepare means to "lead up to (a discord, an embellishment, etc) by some preliminary tone or tones".  So whether my life has a discord or an embellishment waiting for me, that is a mystery.  All I know is that I going to practice, and sweat, and laugh, and cry, and challenge myself so that when the times comes, I will be ready for those discords and embellishments.

My dad told me yesterday (what? he was on a roll of wisdom okay?) "You don't always have to have the right answer, or any answer.  You just have to have an opinion".  So whether I'm wrong or I'm right, I'm thinking that Utah is the best place I can be to make those preparations and I'm thinking God is okay with that too.  

Goodbye, Hello

Dear Africa,

You have brought me closer to my God once again, this time in the fertile soils of Uganda.  I don't know if it is the people, if it is being in a foreign country, or if it the very nature of being without the comforts I am used to that brings me closer to him.  I sometimes think it all of the above.  This summer I have learned humility-- or at least the seeds planted last summer have been fertilized in rich Uganda soil.  

I have been blessed by the example of diligent, humble, steadfast members here in the Ntinda Branch.  Mary, Josephine, Sam Christine, the first counselor whose name I can never remember, Sister Oakley, Lililan, Susan, Grace, Anita, Annet, the list could go on and on-- A part of you will forever be with me.  When I teach my children of Christ-like people who have made their mother who she is, your names will be mentioned, your stories told.  

Uganda, I came to you broken and I knew in my heart that only you could make me whole.  I am still broken but instead of a soul broken with regret and bitterness, I have a broken heart and a contrite spirit.  For that, Uganda, I am forever in your debt.  I know God knew I needed Uganda so I guess I'm indebted to Him for inspiring me to come.  Oh Uganda, I miss you and I have not even left yet.  

BUT, instead of letting that sadness turn into despair, I will channel it for good.  I will strive to keep that spirit of Africa-- the spirit that mends my heart, humbles my pride, and turns my actions outwards to others. No one can do that but me.  This time, your lessons will not be forgotten or cast aside because I am no longer in the place that taught them to me.  This time, I will take the lessons home. I will share with others the Spirit of Africa, for that truly is Africa's gift to the world. 

Sincerely,

an American girl

.........the lands that I love...... 

Dear America,

Africa has done it again.  Everyone tells me, "Corrine, America is awesome.  Be excited to come home".  My response is always "But Africa steals my heart, Africa makes me forget America!"  

My home country, I am pleased to tell you that this summer is different.  Yes, it was Uganda this time that stole my heart.  Yes, I have forgotten what American ice cream, cheese and fries taste like.  Yes, I wish I could stay here forever but I made a realization.  Loving you does not mean that I love Africa any less.  Being excited about going home does not make this summer any less amazing than it truly was.  

So, America, here is what I'm excited about.  I'm excited to take a stroll through Central Park with my sister, to sit on the bed while my mother scratches my back.  I'm excited to wind through the mountains of Appalachia to see my bearded brother or to teach my father all that African food has to offer. I'm excited to catch up with old friends on the phone because Facebook messages just don't quite cut it for me.  I'm excited to eat lunch with one of my mentors, Ms. Partridge, and listen to her wise counsel.  I'm excited to see my mzungu friends in their American clothes, living their American lives.  

But I think the thing I am most excited about is being back in a place where I know that I matter.  You see, elections are coming up which I'm sure you know.  I'm sure you also know that Uganda has had the same president for over 20 years because he does not believe in giving up his seat.  The Ugandan people do not feel like they have a voice in their government.  Government is supposed to be of the people, by the people, and most importantly, for the people.  It was you who taught me that. Thank you America for protecting my voice.  

I know you are not perfect America but I still love you, and I am happy to be stepping onto your soil soon.  

Sincerely, 

an African in spirit

Half Serious, Half Not.

HALF NOT-SERIOUS PART


We went on a SAFARI!! OH YEAH!!!!! Talk about touristy.  Hahahaha.  I was asking everyone on the drive up to the park what animal they were most excited to see.  Some said lions, some said elephants.  What was mine? Drumroll please........ THE GIRAFFE (aka the camelopardalis)!  To ensure that I saw at least one, I wore my giraffe looking dress Kristi bought me in Ghana (seriously, just look at the resemblance?!).  Well, I guess the Animal God liked my dress, and my heart felt plea to see the giraffe because we saw at least 30!

....... oh, they are beautiful creatures.  They move so slowly, elegantly.  And their spots... oh! So beautiful.  Did you know their spots act as thermal windows to keep them cool? Oh, did you also know that their tongues are blackish purple to act as sunscreen so they do not get sunburned? I mean, who thinks of this stuff?! 


Anyways, it was an AMAZING experience.  I am in LOVE with nature and all of its wonders.  Seeing the animals in their natural habitat, seeing the gorgeous waterfall we went to the next day, it makes me SO GRATEFUL to be living on this planet. Earth is beautiful and I thank God for creating it.   



Now for a photo montage of animals/scenes of nature from the trip.  Enjoy. 

    .

Half Serious Part

Genocide (noun): the deliberate and systematic extermination of a national, racial, political, or cultural group.

After a weekend of natural beauty, we spent four days in Rwanda.  It is a country endowed with beautiful rolling hills, trees that look like they belong in the Redwood Forest, and gorgeous sunsets.  Eighteen years ago, those beautiful hills and sunsets were covered with the blood of one million Rwandans-- killed because of a hatred bred out of colonialism.  It started on 6 April 1994 and lasted about 100 days. (To learn more, visit this Frontline special.  It has a timeline, pictures, and other really good information).  "It was genocide from the first day... the genocidaires were more successful in their evil plans than anyone would have dared to believe. Rwanda was dead".  One million persons  were killed in 100 days.  How does that happen? Why does that happen? The fact of the matter is, Rwanda has not been the only genocide.  Part of the memorial was paying tribute to other genocides that have occurred since 1900-- Armenia 1915-1918, Herero in Namibia 1904-1095, the Balkans 1990s, The Holocaust 1939- 1945, Cambodia 1975- 1979. How does this happen? Why does this happen? I want to spend my life figuring that out.  


To say the least, visiting this memorial was one of the most sobering experiences of my life.  I wish to share with you some of my thoughts, my emotions while I learned, as I felt, as I experienced the Genocide.  So, some of these comments will be my own thoughts, some of them will be quotes that were displayed at the Memorial.  

About 250,000 people are buried in these graves. There is a wall next to the mass graves. It is a wall of names.  It was standing in front of that wall that it really hit me, "these were real people".  When the numbers start to get large, the more impersonal it becomes.  The easier it is to group them all together en masse but the truth is, they were individuals; they were killed individually. 


"If you must remember, remember this,... the Nazis did not kill six million Jews... nor the Interhamwe kill a million Tutsis, they killed one and then another and then another... Genocide is not a singe act of murder.  It is a millions of acts of murder"  Stephen D. Smith

After learning the history of the Genocide and learning about what actually happened, you came to this room.  It is a room where survivors put pictures of the victims.  Pictures of family members, friends or neighbors who were killed.

As I took the time, trying to pay each photo the time it deserves, I came across a letter. It was a letter from Hellen.  She was writing to her uncle and his family who were killed.  She expresses how much she misses them.  I did not write down the whole letter but I can give you the part that struck me the most:

 "I wonder why I do not have any cousins and then I remember.  But today, I work really hard so I can accomplish very many things.  I did not know your dreams and passion but in those very many things I do, am sure there is one that was your dream". 

The next room you enter was a room of skulls.  (This picture was taken at a different memorial in Rwanda).  I tried to count all the skulls... I cannot remember how many.  I tried picturing what Hellen said-- she did not know her uncle's dreams but she hopes that in her dreams, his will come true. 

Each of these skulls represents a person, represents someone whose dreams were cut short... for what? For hatred? For nothing, that is what. 

Before entering the room, there is a sign that reads, "Please respect the sanctity of their final resting place".  That room was truly sacred.  We tried to give them peace and sanctity because in their death, they did not have it.  I struggled to find a way to respect their final resting place.  Finally, I simply tried to imagine who that person was-- I imagine a girl, hair in pigtails with a worn pink and blue dress on.  She is smiling because her mother let her go out to play with her classmates, instead of having to help cook dinner.  Then a man.  He is single, my age.  He spends his nights sitting next to his food stand bugging the mzungus who walk by.  He hopes that the girl he fancies will finally say yes to a date.  

Later that day, we visited a church.  Churches were a common refuge spot during the Genocide.  Unfortunately, it did not prove to be a safe place, for many different reasons.  The church we went to had been hit with a grenade, killing most of the people inside.  Those who were not killed were dragged out and killed with machetes and other instruments of murder.  I do not remember how many survived, but it was not a large number. 

We walk into the church and all I could think of was God.  At first, it was the question "why did this happen?!" but then it turned into "how did You let this happen? Over and over again, people flocked to their churches, seeking safety in their God and You did nothing. Why?" I was angry. For the first time this whole entire trip, I was angry.  Angry at God.  

I do not like being angry at God-- he does not deserve it.  And I know he did not do nothing.  I know it is not his fault.  So, I decided I would not leave the bench I was sitting on until I understood, until I could find the answer to my question.  This is what I came up with: 

These people died for no reason, waiting for their God to deliver them and he did, but he delivered them not by saving them but by letting them die.  He delivered them from a world of hatred and cruelty to the great courts of heaven above.  These people died believing, trusting in their God and because of that, they shall be in paradise.  Perhaps they came here because in the midst of confusion, the church brought them peace.  The church brought that eternal perspective.  They were delivered from the chaos of the world they were living in. 

At the beginning of the museum part of the Memorial, there was a quote: "This is about our past and our future; our nightmares and dreams; our fear and our hope, which is why we begin where we end... with the country we love.  OUR RWANDA".  So, in honor of that, I end where I began, with the beauty of Rwanda-   this video is of a dance we came across the following day in the hills of this beautiful country. (in case it doesn't work: here is the link: http://vimeo.com/45623511).  It is worth watching, I promise. 

  

Y-O-L-O

It was quite a while back when I first heard the phrase "yolo". I don't remember the particulars but it must have involved a New Jersey type of "bro" who was yelling "yolo" at his friends (you know.... when you hold out the last "o"and change the pitch every now and then).  Oh, and the "bro" is totally wearing a wife-beater tank top and a gold chain.... most likely with a baseball cap with the bill pushed to the side.

Because of this really intense imagery associated with "yolo", I've always been hesitant to embrace it as a legit phrase in my life.  Or rather, I've never taken it seriously.  But that has changed my friends.  I, Corrine Christison, have said "yolo" out loud at least 5 times today and said it even more in my head.  

Why this sudden change of attitude? Well, I'm in Uganda..... why shouldn't I take the opportunity to do the things I might never get to do again.  Why shouldn't I try to soak up every experience I can?  After all..... YOLO! (In case you are a little behind the times... which is totally okay.... "yolo" stands for YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE).   

Armed with this new mentality, I've been sent on a whirlwind of a week!  I'm not sure if adopting "yolo" as a legit phrase in my life is what spawned this whirlwind or if simply by embracing this carefree mentality, I've been more open to crazy experiences.  Maybe people just know when we are wanting to LIVE life, instead of just muddling through.  I've never been more converted to the idea that life is supposed to be like a melting ice cream sundae -- You feel a rush to eat it because soon the moment will be lost. You need a wet rag because a napkin just won't clean up the messes.    You know that it is always better when you share it with someone else.  The more flavors there are, the better it tastes; and along with that, there is ALWAYS room for more toppings.  But more than anything, you recognize that if you actually eat it, savoring every last bite, your day is a little bit brighter..... you have a spring in your step....... you have a smile on your face and you realize, eating a melting ice cream sundae is ALWAYS better than not eating one.  Life is always better when you live it.  YO-LOOOOO!!!! 

So what are all these memories I've making? What is this whirlwind? What is this delicious ice cream sundae I've been partaking in? Let me show you... and I promise, they are some good stories! 

Well, just picture me and a bunch of mzungus somewhere in the middle of this madness and you'll get the picture of how the last futbol match was!  We were able to find "THE" section -- you know the section that doesn't sit down the entire game but instead is cheering and dancing and yelling and simply going crazy the entire time.  I fell over at least four times with all the craziness.  I'm pretty sure I almost died at least twice from falling but hey, yolo right?  And it was totally worth it because Uganda beat Congo 4-0.  Epic.  

Oh, you are exhausted from a week of craziness and don't really have any reason to go to the school nor do you want to but they are doing immunizations and Josephine wants you to come?  Okay, yolo right?  So I decided to make the most of it and show the kids my muscles.  They must have been impressed because they then kept whacking my arm, or trying to squeeze it really tight to get me to say "OW!" in an overly dramatic fashion.  I left with a couple of bruises but it was worth it... right? ;) 

It is Josephine's birthday (the one in the middle with the red flower in her hair) so you throw your very first Ugandan party with the help of Mary, her best friend and all the other mzungus.  Um, yes please!  It was crazy because we were way overbooked for the day but somehow we arrived on time.  We played "What if" and danced the night away.  

*Side note:  This may not have been a crazy story but I sometimes think the point of "yolo" is not just to do crazy things like let children beat you up and get yourself beaten up at a soccer game by crazy fans but rather, to make as much happiness as you can in the moment.  Don't spend life wishing you were somewhere else or with different people.  Make joy wherever you find yourself.  That is what I learned with Josephine's party-- you must celebrate every day.   

And last but not least, cut Brady's hair into a mohawk?  Okay.  I mean, who cares if I don't really know how to cut boy's hair.... or at least, I've never done it.  Who cares if I don't know how to cut a mohawk.  Who cares if this is only the haircut Brady has been wanting forever so I better not mess it up-- you only live once right.  Take that leap of faith and just do it!  (Oh... and it looks really good by the way....).  

*Side note #2: Sometimes "yolo" gives you a chance to surprise yourself.  Learn a new talent.  Discover a new passion. Make a new friend. The point of life is to learn and to grow-- you can only do that if you have the attitude that this opportunity might never come up again so you have to take it while you can.  

Life is treating me well here folks.  Oh..... before I forget! I want to share with you a "yolo" experience that someone else had.  I mean, I'm in the story but I'm not the one who was "only living once" here. 

So... here is the scene.  I went to the Kasubi Tombs with Wayne, Austin, and Brady. (Behind us is where the old Baganda Kings were buried.... it sadly burned down a while back but the Kings's bodies were okay... thankfully.  AND they just got money to restore the hut. But that is not the point of this story so I'm stopping now). 

After visiting the tombs, we were walking back and we passed a market.  With the YOLO attitude in place, we decided to walk through it.  Towards the end, Brady saw some shoes he liked so he stopped and asked how much they were.  After discovering they were the wrong size so it didn't matter how much they were, the conversation took an unexpected turn...  

*please note, this conversation is not exactly word-for-word but that is simply because I cannot remember ALL of the details. 

Man: [looking at me]: "Something we can't understand"

Brady: "What?"

Me: "What?"

Man: "Slightly more understandable but not really".

--> We realize that he is saying "one cow and one cock". 

Man: "For her [pointing to me while looking at Brady], I will give you one cow and one cock". 

Me: "What?!"

NOW, OF ALL TIMES IS WHEN BRADY DECIDES TO HAVE HIS "YOLO" MOMENT... I mean, after all, how many times do you get to barter away one of your friends to a complete stranger?!?!?! 

Brady: "Oh.... hmmm.... well......I dunno.  I kind of like having her around but..... "

Man: "Okay, two cows and two cocks"

Brady: "[laughing] well, maybe"

Me: "eh! I am worth more than two cows! I am worth eight cows!"

Man: [laughs at the absurd amount of eight cows] 

We part ways and all I can do is look at Brady is mocking horror that he "seriously" contemplated selling me.  I mean, you only live once right?! I think the moral of this story is that sometimes "yolo" can be a dangerous mentality so please, use it wisely.  

The Three R's of Gulu

Two weeks ago Peter, Brady and I had the chance to go to Gulu for a day.  Gulu is the "Gateway to the North" type of city.  It is the largest city (if you could even call it that) in Northern Uganda and is used in a lot of ways as a trade post of sort between the North and the South.  It was a quick trip but two weeks later, I'm still thinking of what I learned there.

I hope you bear with me as I tell you about the THREE R's of Gulu.  The three people who taught me a lesson I hope to remember all my life.

 Say Hello to Rom. He is R#1.   He's from Gulu and is just 27 years old (he thinks he is SO old!).  He is our contact up there for one of the projects. He was SO nice in showing us around Gulu, working hard to make contacts for us at the local schools.

He just opened a woman's clothing store at the market-- his own business! Incredible! He used to work at this hotel that was built a long time ago and has a pool and everything.

He just had his appendix taken out so he said he cannot exert himself too much but he's a trooper and going on.

In showing us around town, Rom pointed out one of the local places where the Night Walkers would stay during the civil war with the LRA.  Rom's parents were both killed during the war.  We aren't entirely sure but from what Peter thinks, his parents were locked up in a house and burned.  I will remember Rom. 


Now onto R#2: THE ROLEX.  It is an egg with tomatoes and onions fried and then wrapped in TWO chapati (Uganda's version of a tortilla). Brady and I hadn't tried them so Peter bought us some to try.  Apparently they are the best in Gulu. (And BOY was it GOOD!!)

But this picture is more than just a rolex.  I want to tell you about the boy who made them for us.  He owned a little stand on the corner of the main road.  His name was Oscar, and he was 17 years old.  He was soft-spoken but had a smile that lit up the dark night.  He has owned this stand for 3 years; he said business wasn't too good but it was at least something.  

We came to found out that he too was orphaned by the War, I'm not sure of how his parents were killed.  He would've only been 11 years old when the conflict ended in 2006.   As we left, both Brady and I were struck by this boy.  11 years old? Where was he living? What was he doing after his parents were killed? Where does he sleep at night? Does he have younger siblings? What happened to them? 

It was one of those moments where my heart was confused at the sadness and hatred that could cause a war that devastated so many people's lives.  I will remember Oscar.  

 

R#3 stands for Remarkable people.  I don't have a specific person in mind for this last one but rather, a town.  I don't know the name of the town, I don't even know where it is but I know what is happening there.  A high-up member of the LRA, after the War was over, went back to his community to live.  We were shocked to hear this.  We wondered how he was received-- after all, these people in Northern Uganda have been through SO MUCH heartache for the last 30 years or so... parents have dealt with abductions of their children; children have dealt with the loss of their parents; everyone have dealt with the uncertainty that each day brought.  The LRA did all of that and now a General in their Army was living among them. We asked Rom how he was received.  What was Rom's answer?

"We are very good people. We try to be good Christians so we forgive" 

Rom then went on to talk about how they follow Christ's example of forgiveness.  He wears a wristband that says "Forgiveness brings Peace".  Those people in that unnamed town, along with Rom and Oscar have taught me a lesson I shall never forget-- the power of forgiveness.

Now, whenever I eat a rolex I will think of Oscar and I say a little prayer that he is doing alright.  Whenever I ponder on enduring and overcoming trails, I will think of Rom and all that he has seen in his life.  Whenever I think of living a Christ-like life, I will think of those remarkable people in that town who welcomed with open arms one who caused them so much pain.